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Walking Through the Valley of Death

As we progress further and deeper along our spiritual path it is possible that we will be challenged with even stronger and more compelling situations of fear, pain, doubt, despair, and confusion. This might be viewed as our final “walk through the valley of death” or as “the dark night of the soul.” The Course In Miracles reminds us that these situations are signs that we are coming closer to our goal of salvation and self-realization. They are, in fact, evidence that the ego is making a desperate, last ditch effort to seduce us into succumbing to its illusional world along with its feeble methods for achieving comfort and pleasure.

During these difficult times our doubts and hopeless feelings are best viewed as magnanimous opportunities for applying the lessons of forgiveness and overcoming the last vestiges of the ego’s attempts to avoid its undoing. This is an ideal time to celebrate knowing that the final steps of atonement are at hand and that the ego is feeling overmatched, panicked, and violently attempting to save its existence.

Each path to salvation is very personal and the lessons of the Holy Spirit are always suited to our unique characteristics and needs in the moment. Furthermore, we can be assured that the Holy Spirit’s responses to our challenges are always of ample strength and intensity to meet the task at hand. During our darkest time we must remain committed to our practice of forgiveness and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us as masterfully in this situation as it has in every previous instance.

Acceptance Dissolves Illusions

Suffering dissolves when met with acceptance because acceptance reveals that which is true and real. When fully accepting the present moment the mind becomes silent resulting in the disappearance of painful, past memories and anxiety-laden, future imaginings. When thoughts of the past and future stop, the sustaining truth of reality is revealed as oneness, peace, love, and joy.

Our negative, subjective judgments, evaluations, and beliefs about truth dissolve in the objective light of knowing truth. Therefore, it can be said that recognizing the truth and reality of “what is” dissolves the illusions which are the source of suffering. Illusions are necessary for suffering to exist. Pain is sometimes a part of life, while suffering is optional.

Suffering requires that one view the relative as absolute. Bringing acceptance to an experience exposes and dissolves this illusion and reveals the absolute – the absolute and deepest truth of life.

Throughout the ages, many psychological and spiritual teachers have suggested that suffering is grounded in ignorance. In modern times, Byron Katie asks us to recognize “what is absolutely true” and “to love what is,” Eckhart Tolle suggests “living fully in the now,” and American psychologist Albert Ellis invites us to recognize and challenge the negative, irrational beliefs fueling our suffering.

There is nothing wrong with thinking as long as we recognize that thoughts are only thoughts. Thoughts are harmless and it is advisable to accept all of our thoughts as long as we don’t become attached to our thoughts and believe them to be true.

An Ego Manufactured World

The ego manufactures a new world because it cannot tolerate the Real world. Believing we are a personalized, separate self or ego, we constantly try to change the world to serve us. We attack reality in an effort to form a world to our liking. Our efforts are driven by guilt, fear, and vulnerability. We deny the truth and create, in our minds, our own version of reality.

Our self-created version of the truth is believed to be real, continues to expand, and becomes a perpetual substitute for reality. As this delusional reality continues to expand, it increases our guilt, fear, and vulnerability, thereby seducing us deeper into our self-made illusions. At the same time all this is going on there is an extraordinary force, far beyond our imagination, continually offering forth a reality that is perfect and beautiful exactly as it is.

Our ego’s attempts to triumph over the world repeatedly fail which offers two alternatives. One alternative is to invest more energy into attacking Reality and changing it to better suit our ego. The other alternative is to recognize that we are unsuccessfully fighting with Reality by substituting our fantasy of a fearful world.

The Real World is within clear grasp of our mind. We can awaken from our self-created illusions and discover the Real World by devoting ourselves to always being deeply honest with ourselves and facing our moment-to-moment truth to the best of our ability. We must be committed to vigilantly perceiving the difference between what is actually appearing in the here–and–now and the streaming thoughts inside our heads which continually distract us from reality by evaluating, assessing, denying, criticizing, judging, planning, managing, and reorganizing reality.

Recognizing that our thoughts are simply thoughts and not Reality, is an enormous step in a helpful direction. This practice allows us to gradually detach from our illusions and fantasies about the world and begin to see the world as it truly is. Eventually, our thoughts about the world become less seductive and more readily recognized for what they really are – mental reactions to reality and not direct experiences of Reality itself. To a greater and greater degree, the True Reality that was always there in the first place will be spontaneously and freely revealed. Subsequently, the mystery, splendor, peace, and glory of the Real World will increasingly pervade our awareness.

The Light Of Love

The Light of Love is always present. Love is not something we create, it is something we remember, uncover, or recognize. Discovering love means returning home to the source of our being, the source of all that exists, the light that dispels darkness.

When we turn toward the light of love darkness fades away. If we stay focused on the light there can be no darkness and when we remain in the present moment we notice that the light is perpetually shining. Darkness requires focusing attention on the past and the future. The present moment is always exemplified by joy, peace, and love. The light shining in the present moment is endlessly expansive and creative.

Darkness holds no substantial qualities other than the absence of awareness of light, love, peace, and joy. Our inner being knows this, yet it is easily forgotten by our externalized, separated self. There is an abundance of light in the world and yet we tend to obsess on the experiences in life that appear to be dark. A disproportionate amount of our time is spent thinking and talking about the darkness in the world, trying to avoid it, ignore it, run away from it, and change it. Darkness appears so real and pervasive that it seems to have a valid existence in and of itself. Yet when light presents itself to darkness, darkness withers in its presence. Darkness cannot sustain itself in the presence of light.

If our goal is to discover the light of love that pervades all existence, then changing the direction of our attention is a key factor. We can begin right now by realizing that each one of us is the light, has always been the light, and will always be the light. When we look for the light it will always be found there waiting for us. Darkness cannot prevail if we practice seeing the light in everyone and everything. If we keep turning our faces toward the light, eventually a blinding light will cover every inch of our souls and we will come to know that Love’s light is the only true reality that exists throughout eternity.

Light encompasses the entire spectrum of realities and possibilities and endlessly shines as a beacon of love, joy, bliss, and peaceful contentment. The universe perpetually offers each of us the blessing of the light of love and patiently waits for us to recognize its presence. By abiding in faith, intention, will, and reverence the presence of inner light will eventually be fully revealed to all of us who have believed in darkness far too long.

Being and Doing Modes of Functioning

There are two main modes in which the human mind operates. These are the “being” mode and the “doing” mode. Both modes are necessary for effective living. However, most people tend to de-emphasize the being mode while overinvesting in the doing mode. Immense benefits can be received by increasing our proficiency at entering a state of being versus habitually attaching to various states of action and doing.

Our “being” mode of functioning is characterized by direct, immediate, intimate experience of the present moment. Being fully attentive to that which is currently happening reveals a reality that is endlessly unique, dynamic, complex, rich, and creative. Furthermore, we always find that we are absolutely okay in the present moment and that our upsets, fears, doubts, and worries are simply negative beliefs and expectations that our mind projects into a future that has not yet occurred.

This present-centered, being mode of consciousness is experienced in our bodies and associated with responding to life from our whole being. This state includes a holistic, bodily felt sense of situations which involves the use of all of our senses. It is less goal-oriented than the “doing” mode and it encourages trusting the processes of change and discovery.When in being mode we allow ourselves and others to be exactly as we are and do not defend against the truth by resisting, denying, distorting, or manipulating our perceptions of reality. We respond honestly and opening to the reality of the moment, availing ourselves to a more direct, fresh, broad, and deep experience of the details of life. Entering the being mode generally requires intentionally slowing down and pausing so that our mind relinquishes its unconscious habit of racing from one thought to another.

Our “doing” mode of functioning is experienced more in our minds than in our bodies and is usually past and future focused. When in doing mode, we frequently are preoccupied with thoughts about situations and things, as well as how to act on them, versus having a direct experience of them. This mode is associated with evaluating, planning, comparing, managing, controlling, and changing whatever is currently present in our awareness. Over-investment in doing mode tends to remove us from direct experiencing of the immediate moment. That is, we can become so absorbed in pondering the past and future that the reality of the present is not fully apprehended. We are also more inclined to perform in an automatic, habitual, unconscious manner when functioning in doing mode than when we are accessing being mode.

In doing mode we are usually doing something to something, whereas in being mode we are being with whatever is occupying our awareness. This “being with” experience involves a gentle, friendly attitude of openness, curiosity, and receptivity toward the objects in our awareness. It involves letting go of judgments and fear while surrendering to the natural flow of experience, thus allowing the objects of our attention to be whatever they are and to reveal themselves in any manner they wish.

In being mode we have experiences whereas in doing mode we commonly become lost in our experiences. In being mode we experience a broadening of our awareness and tend to experience internal and external events more clearly and realistically. In doing mode we tend to narrow our perceptual field so that specific thoughts, emotions, and sensations become the totality of our identity. Functioning in doing mode oftentimes involves feelings of discomfort because of the tendency to readily become lost in the objects of our perception including our thoughts and feelings. When this happens our consciousness is dominated by the objects of our perception rather than remaining grounded in ourselves and maintaining an awareness of that part of us that is the perceiver of objects. Therefore, in doing mode, when the objects of our perception are not pleasant we find ourselves totally absorbed in the unpleasantness.

In doing mode we sometimes fluctuate to the other extreme by becoming overly identified with a desire to distance ourselves from distressing thoughts and feelings. By avoiding and ignoring uncomfortable experiences we become “detached from” the reality of our experiences and, to one degree or another, lose our ability to perceive reality clearly and accurately. In fact, we can dissociate from direct experiencing to the extent that we lose most or all direct contact with reality. The vast majority of people do not detach from reality to these extreme degrees. Most people only distort reality minimally or moderately which is commonly considered to be rather healthy and normal.

Clearly, it is more efficient and productive to be with the objects of our perceptions versus lost in or completely out of relationship with the objects of our perceptions. Maintaining a relationship with our constantly present, observing, perceiving Self is enhanced in the “being” mode. When occupying this mode we actually become more aware of constantly being aware. This promotes a sense of being grounded in a secure, always present, never changing “home base” while also being more conscious and mindful of the objects that enter and pass through our perceptual field.

Our ongoing awareness or observing Self is often referred to as our deeper identity and true Self. It is always present and never changing. Recognizing and embracing the ongoing integrity of the observing Self facilitates the establishment of a direct, clear, and dynamic relationship with the objects of our perceptions as they pass through our awareness.

In doing mode our consciousness tends to leave our personal space and become absorbed in the object of our perception. Subsequently, our sense of identity becomes lost in the object. In being mode we invite and allow an object to pass into and through our personal space where it is perceived as one of many potential items in our broad, stable perceptual field. In this mode, we can regulate our relational distance to an object thus influencing the amount of volume it occupies and level of intensity it asserts in our overall perceptual field. Indeed, in being mode we are able to be with the object versus lost in it or detached from it. Understandably, when our awareness of our observing self remains in tack, we negotiate our relationship with the objects of perception with increased intentionality and effectiveness; therefore responding more efficiently to the form, content, relevance, and meaning of the objects we experience.

In summary, our behavior in doing mode tends to be more reactive while our being mode supports more intentional, broadly informed responding. When in being mode we are cognizant that we are having thoughts and feelings versus being lost in them or being detached and dissociated from them. By perceiving an object as an event passing through our awareness and as only one of many possible elements in our total perceptual field, we are better able to appreciate the broad range and extraordinary richness of each moment-to-moment life experience. Above all, highly effective living requires the proficient utilization of both doing and being modes of functioning. De-emphasizing either mode will result in inefficient performance. Ideal human functioning occurs when doing behaviors naturally emerge and spontaneously flow from a state of being.

Crux of Healing

For a person to be maximally effective at creating what they want and reaching their desired goals it is important that they achieve a state of alignment – a state of nonresistance and harmony between mind, heart, body, and spirit. Healers, mentors, coaches, and counselors are most helpful when their attention is placed on assisting people to move into alignment and then helping them create whatever they wish to create from that alignment. Assisting others to achieve alignment by deeply trusting themselves and allowing their moment-to-moment experiences to emerge spontaneously, in whatever form they naturally take, is the crux of all successful healing interventions.

Being in alignment means that one’s desires, attitudes, beliefs, expectations, and feelings are all in harmony. They are pointing in the same direction, supporting the same outcome, and aligned toward the same goal. When we hold conscious or unconscious thoughts and feelings, that conflict with our desired goals, the resistance created by the conflicting forces results in negativity, pain, and suffering. Bringing all of our thoughts and feelings into alignment with what we want is required for a smooth transition to a positive outcome.

When in a helping role, it is not necessary to figure out the details of how to restructure another person’s life in order to help them satisfy their desires and meet their goals. It is more beneficial to assist others to identify their own personal wishes and desires, and then help them move into a state of alignment with them. When in alignment, people automatically encounter and graciously engage the personal experiences necessary to move forward productively while appreciating that life is unfolding as it needs to be and that all is well.

Healing is enhanced in others only to the degree that the healer is able to access their own state of alignment. When healers are in alignment, others are seen in their full potential and viewed as capable of accessing their truer, deeper selves. Therapists in this state do not perceive others in the negative, fear-based, diminished, critical, and distorted ways in which people typically perceive themselves. The way Jesus Christ functioned over 2,000 years ago is an ideal example of an incredibly refined state of alignment. Jesus perceived people in their pure, healthy state. Because Jesus related to others from a refined, energized version of an aligned state of being, while also experiencing them in that state, others were more inclined to access that state, believe it, and thus manifest a better reality for themselves.

We are most helpful to another when we refrain from viewing them in a broken state and recognize the person they are ideally becoming based on their unique personhood and the specific life experiences they are encountering. In other words, we are of greatest benefit to others when focusing our attention on all the ways that their life experiences are providing opportunities for the expansion and enrichment of their psychological and spiritual states of being.

It can be difficult to look at a situation in our life that we believe we don’t want to encounter and realize that, at the same time and on another level, it is something we honestly do want to encounter and will benefit from experiencing. When we make peace with an experience, by engaging it with a compassionate and accepting attitude, the broader relevance and deeper significance of the experience is revealed. It is then that we can fully appreciate all experiencing, and feel peace and hope while simultaneously acknowledging all the circumstances that surround an experience.

The fundamental truth is that there is no right or wrong. Of course, we tend to label feelings good or bad and positive or negative. However, the feelings we describe as bad or negative are not actually wrong or detrimental. All feelings, no matter the label we give them, are actually helpful and productive life experiences that are meant to enhance our overall being. When living life from this perspective we appreciate the immense value and relevance of all experience. Furthermore, all that we encounter in life is then viewed as perfectly fine exactly as it is which leads to a recognition that all is well in our lives, and for that matter, in the entire universe.

From this perspective, all objects in our perceptual field are experienced “directly” with unequivocal acceptance for what they are without the distortion of narratives and stories about them. We then realize that all experiences are simply being experienced for the pure joy of experiencing and our moment-to-moment perceptions of reality reveal that life is exceptionally dynamic, rich, creative, and productive. When engaging life in this manner we understand that a primary reason we are on earth is to better understand our relationship with experience itself and to fully enjoy the experience of being human.